The difference between my hardwiring and actually thinking

Most of the time, I walk around like a raw bundle of nerves waiting to get triggered into a predictable response. I am like an old music jukebox with the same 40 hit songs that I've heard over and over again. The fun part is to notice how I use certain people or events to trigger a particular "record" to get played in me.

Just press "E-8" and I get angry.  Just press "G-2" and I get worried.  I used to think that I  was "responding to the world".  But now I can see that I have, mostly, been a hardwired set of "my greatest hits" just waiting to get triggered within myself.